Alternatively.
You guys want an honest letter for a rejected submission?
You bet:
Hi,
We didn’t ask for this, and it’s not good. We don’t want to publish it. Stop sending things. Seriously.
Us.
Or, of course, you could do what Exquisite Corpse used to do: post a list of the names of every submitter who should a) try again later or b) never ever send anything again. Talk about honest.
No, it’s not nice. But it is honest. And personal. Ish.
I mean do you guys respond to every piece of unrequested information you’ve ever received with a personal note? Newsletters, ads, and spam, too? Really, you don’t? Wow. Callous. Poor caddying.
Seriously, I don’t understand writers who get all butt-hurt about rejections. It’s like yelling at rain or gravity. It just is.
It’s not your fucking allowance, guys. It’s business. Keep writing, keep submitting, paper your walls, and cowboy up forever. The only person who owes you anything is you. Maybe. If you’re lucky.
A friend of mine and I had a contest last year to see who could amass the most rejection letters. I won, and got a story published. She lost and published nothing.
Also, you want a great high? Get a great rejection letter from a place like Esquire. I did and do and I save them all.
Finally, if it ruins your heart, then you weren’t meant for the business of writing. Sorry to say it, but them’s the breaks, kid. Either pay someone to deal with it for you or get out of the game.
