Married
I’ve always wondered how people make it all the way in a relationship. So far as to get married, I mean. It’s always perplexed and astonished me at how people up say “It’s you. I want to be with you. Forever.” I mean how do they do it? With all the crazy people and all the crazy things how do these two people find each other out of the crowd get past all the self and society imposed bullshit and just BE and be together? At times it seems like a miracle. But lately, lately I’m wondering if it’s not a miracle. Maybe it’s just that they are tired. Worn out, beat down, done. Maybe they just look at each other and say “You’ll do.” Maybe it has nothing to do with love or passion or even contentment but a resolution to just give up and settle down. Take themselves out of the frying pan, the fire, hell the whole damn kitchen. Maybe you can’t have it both. Maybe you have to choose. Love or Marriage. Consistently unsure, jealous torment peppered with absolute bliss or valued, stable monotony with something less inspired?
Marriage is awesome if it works for you. I do think people get desperate, believe they’re going to die alone, and sometimes snatch at someone on the way by. Those people, sure, they’ll be miserable.
The thing is, love is chemistry. All that googly wonderful stuff you feel during the first three months (give or take) of an awesome relationship fades with the chemicals. After, there’s about nine months (again, give or take), where the two of you begin figuring out whether or not all the hassle is worth it.
And yes, there’s hassle. Get over it.
Finally, at about seven years you begin to figure out that you’re not quite the same person you were when you first got married. You discover you’ve grown together, or you discover you’ve grown apart. Not a big deal and no one’s at fault.
Here’s the thing, though. A marriage is work. It’s like any long-term, close relationship. You can’t expect every day to be rainbows and unicorns. What you can expect, however, is to find a person who judges you in the best ways possible, who enables you to be the best you out there. Who encourages you in your zany pursuits, isn’t overly smug when they don’t work out, and is ready with the best high five when they do. Someone who fills in your gaps and makes you ready to better face the world.
Also, I’m a lucky bastard.
